You have started on your Personal Development journey. You are reading, studying, attending seminars, finding a mentor. You are excited about the prospect of manifesting everything you desire. Your attitude is changing, you see abundance everywhere, you look for the positive, you are becoming more aware of your thoughts, you are realizing that we are all connected, you are learning and following the Universal Laws.
You decide to share your new-found way of living and looking at life with those closest to you. They, however, are not of like mind and let you know exactly what they think of this new you, often in surprising ways. You’re hurt. But then you remember, your feelings are a choice. You choose to stop feeling hurt and wonder why you are getting such a vehement, unsupportive reaction? Sound familiar?
At this point, you may begin to question your new path. You may be tempted to get drawn back into the old routines and habits. But you realize that you no longer want to live the old way. You want to change your life. You desire abundance, wealth, health, a loving relationship, whatever your goals are – and you know that you can manifest it all. You realize that you are changing, but the people in your life are not. Unfortunately, they may feel like they don’t know you anymore, or they don’t feel comfortable with the “new” you.
Often, we have no idea people are feeling this way. We may never have really stopped to think about how our personal growth journey would affect the people in our lives, not realizing that our changes affect everyone around us, like a ripple effect. We are all connected, especially with the people closest to us, no one lives in a vacuum. We are so focused on our own personal growth that we haven’t stopped to think about how our changes affect our relationships.
While it’s only natural to outgrow friends, especially during times of personal growth and change, it doesn’t always have to happen that way. One of the scariest parts about self-discovery and personal development journeys, and why many people avoid them is that we’re afraid of becoming separated from all that we know and is familiar to us. We won’t be the same person anymore. We may lose friends, even family, in the process when they don’t support the new you. You might learn things about yourself that cause you to completely change who you are, your career, lifestyle, habits etc. That can be terrifying.
Here’s the good news, you’ll make better, truer friends, you’ll be in a better place overall and you will be happier and more fulfilled. Also, you don’t have to lose the friends you don’t truly want to lose. There are some friends who you know it’s time to move on from when they just don’t share your outlook on life and aren’t willing to support the new you, but there are also ones who are worth your time and effort to evolve the friendship.
We must remember that personal growth journeys don’t just affect us. They can affect the dynamics of relationships with romantic partners, friends, family, and co-workers. We are not isolated creatures. All our behaviors and actions affect others, especially the people we are closest to. Try to keep the good friends around by being open, honest, and vulnerable with them about your personal growth journey and allowing them to participate where they can.
As Lauren Jauregui said, “You need to accept yourself for who you are and surround yourself with a good group of girlfriends that’ll lift you up instead of put you down.
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Mary Pawlus has been studying personal development, and mind/body/spirit health for over 25 years. She has a passion for helping people live a healthy lifestyle by making better choices. Mary’s personal journey has led her to develop personal development techniques that anyone can easily incorporate immediately into their lives. She believes that simple steps can create big changes, and help you easily develop a more fulfilling and purposeful life. She is committed to living, and helping others live, their best lives physically, emotionally, and spiritually.