November 1995… I was 16 years old.
It was my first time in the United States. I came to visit some colleagues from the Californian Leadership Association.
I was not excited to go – however, I will never forget this trip, as it was a true paradigm shift for me. My family is from Russia where we were led to believe that it was not good to live in America. It was difficult for me to accept that a “better life” could exist somewhere else.
I had accepted my new life quite quickly and had been feeling pretty cool visiting different places, attending different trainings, conferences, and camps.
Finally, the last day before departure and it was my day off!! With my friends, we had decided to go together to the biggest mall.
I was on the streets of Washington! Gosh, I had never seen so many shops!! Full of things to buy!! It was incredible… in my country all shops were quite empty. One street, another, 3 more … after some time I realized that I didn’t know where I was! There were no cell phones and I didn’t know the name of the street where I was needed to return – my memory only remembered the big mall!
I stopped someone, “Can you help me?” I asked – “No!” was the answer.
Second person: “Can you help me?” – “No!”
Third person: “Can you help me?” – “No!”
I’d asked dozens of people and nobody wanted to HELP!! What’s going on? I felt desperate.
Suddenly a young couple stopped, and the lady said to her boyfriend, “Wait! She is not asking for money”!
No, I wasn’t. I was asking where the big impressive central mall is. But only these two understood me. Finally, I was able to explain to somebody my situation – curiously, more and more people were joining our discussion! I felt blessed that so many people were there to find the solution even with such a poor description as “big street with huge mall”.
So what is asking for help? What is the kind of vibration you send from yourself that causes some people to want to deal with you or to run away? What feeling does it create inside of you? I have recalled that situation so many times, that I have finally realized, why I was waiting for my “help” for so long. I couldn’t get his or her attention, because when I was asking for HELP nobody wanted to reply! I understood that it is all about your mindset – asking for help is to dare to admit that you can’t do it by yourself. But as well, to put yourself in the situation of hopelessness and wait as opposed to looking for solutions. What is in the spirit of collaboration, what is being a person who just communicates positively?
You can change it in a second if you set your mindset on the direction of a solution, right communication, and creativity. Reformulate your demand and you will reform your vision by consequence, the action and the result will follow.
A lot of people ask me for “help” in many different forms. I am not “helping”, but providing solutions to live an independent, positive and happy life.
I remember the trip as if it was yesterday – not only because it was a big cultural leap… It was also a lesson: how to ask for help. You need to open your eyes and be open to a solution – it is always there.
Aline Banon is a native of Russia now living in Europe. She has a master’s degree as a teacher of foreign languages, translator, and linguist. She has always been passionate about the idea of positive movement and supporting people in achieving their goals. Aline is a leader in the Natural Health revolution. Take a moment to visit her website at: www.followmeinleadership.com